i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
