Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
