You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
