physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
