Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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