just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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