So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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