I am puke
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
