Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
