you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
