I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
