She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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