I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
