When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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