i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
