ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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