What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
