i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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