went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
