Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
