I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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