how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Randomize
