remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
