Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
