was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
