Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
