I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
