i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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