There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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