Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
