worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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