I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The beer is more important than you right now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
