you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
