fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
