I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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