So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i think i just lost a toe
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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