All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
