I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
