We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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