By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
