There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
