Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
