i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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