Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
