do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
