he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
