I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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