Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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