if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
accomplished twins. life is a go
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
