He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
