im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
how does that bad decision feel?
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