I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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