I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
