Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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